Permission to Play Values

The classic category of almost every kindergarten report card is: “Plays Well with Others.” In this category a child can get a high score (in which case there may be one affirming comment in the comment line) or they can get a low score (in which case there are usually plenty of detailed explanatory comments in the comment line.) Good and engaged parents pay close attention to both the grade on this item and to the explanatory comments that may accompany this item. The question these parents are asking is, “Does my child need affirmation or correction in their relational style.”
At the Company where I work we have specifically called out a set of “Permission to Play” values. These are the standards of behavior that we expect of our team mates and to which we hold each other accountable. These values are posted and distributed and followed.
One organizational health consultant said that they first things to go when a team turns toward toxic is fun and humor and practical jokes. Thankfully our office is a fun and humorous place to work. (Two days ago a coworker took my shoes when I had taken them off and hid them. In order to retrieve my shoes I was “extorted” by another co-worker who knew their whereabouts and I had to pay both the evil shoe-napper and his accomplice a bag of Skittles. This egregious, unconscionable action on their part has been duly noted by me and will be avenged at the time and place, and in the manner of my choosing. When it comes to shoe-napping and shoe-extortion “I don’t get mad, I get even!”)
The problem of course in most non-profits and in organizations that depend heavily on volunteers is that there are often people who do not play well with others and you cannot fire them. However, you can influence them. You are not sentenced to suffer in silence the ugly relational style of any member of the Body of Christ. There are many ways to influence a person with low “plays well with others” scores.
The first, and usually the best, manner of influencing an adult with negative relational styles (ie. not relating to others like Jesus would) is to have a conversation. Another organizational health expert said, “The quality of every organization depends on the quality of the conversations happening in that organization.”
A quality conversation with a person who is not relating to others like Jesus would, will include grace, truth, clarity, specificity, and a non-punitive attitude. The person needs to feel that we are “for” them or they cannot hear our input. The person needs to hear the truth with clarity and specifics. The person needs to not feel judged, condemned, and belittled.
These are difficult conversations and the best chance of success in these difficult conversations is when we have both prayed ahead of time and specifically rehearsed our message—literally wordsmithed, practiced, adjusted, and repeated the message so that we say what is most truthful, clear, and helpful in a non-punitive tone.
In my life I have had many conversations where a person attempted to address my behavior—sometimes with skill and sometimes with anger and sometimes with ineptitude. I can remember four specific conversations where people said hard things to me, very hard things to me, with grace and consequently helped me remarkably! They helped me at the moment and they helped me for the rest of my life! I can still repeat all four statements word for word and all four statements still guide my relational behavior.

If someone in your team, family, or church is not playing well with others they are contributing to the toxicity of the relationships. If you do not address the person then you are contributing to the toxicity of the relationships. You could be the person who says the true, good, hard, gracious thing that permanently changes a person’s relational style!
Here is a resource that has been of terrific help to me and to our Company: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. By Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen.
Our Permission to Play Values are listed below:

PERMISSION-TO-PLAY VALUES: standards of behavior for every team member
“These values are the minimum behavioral standards that are required in an organization. Although they are extremely important, permission-to-play values don’t serve to clearly define or differentiate an organization from others. Values that commonly fit into this category include honesty, integrity, and respect for others.” —Patrick Lencioni, The Advantage, p. 97
• Integrity/Truthful
• Keeps Confidences
• Spirit-led/Spiritually Healthy
• Devoted to Prayer
• Theologically Aligned
• Engenders Trust
• Welcomes Accountability/Teachable
• Humble
• Care for Others
• Healthy work/life balance
• Team Oriented/Committed
• Respectful
• Servant Spirit
• Diligent
• Competent in Difficult Conversations

Humanity by the Numbers

 

A deaf street sweeper working in Havana, Cuba.  This is one of 7 billion people, alive today, for whom Jesus died.

December 2013

He Dog, South Dakota is too small to be on the map.  It has no Wikipedia page.  If you get on Google Maps and find the town of “Mission” in south-central South Dakota (population 1,182 and childhood home of Bob Barker of “The Price is Right”) and then go west for 19 miles and find the hamlet of “Parmelee” (population 562) and then go southwest from there about 3 miles there is a large swale in the prairie.  In the bottom of that swale is a small school for Lakota Sioux Indian children of the Rosebud Sioux Reservation.  It is called He Dog School, named after a famous Sioux war chief by the name of, you guessed it, Chief He Dog.  On Google Maps you can find “He Dog School Road” but not the actual location of the school.

He Dog is not a town.  It is only a school.  No government.  No Post Office.  No store.  No gas station.  No theater.  No hospital.  No café.  Just a school.  During the school day there are about 200 people in this little swale.  At night about 15-18 people are in their homes at He Dog School.

I spent the first year of my life in He Dog.  My mother was a teacher in the He Dog School and my father was a government trapper who trapped predators off of sheep ranches.  In the year I lived there, 1952/53, the population was 80—give or take three. You couldn’t live in He Dog more than 3 weeks without knowing everyone and without everyone knowing your business.

When a person begins his earthly sojourn in an isolated swale with 80 people and then grows mostly in towns under 5,000 the “humanity numbers” of our planet are staggering.  There are seven billion people alive on our planet right now—give or take tens of millions.  Seven billion!  Let me just write that out:  7,000,000,000.  To give some perspective here, it would require 40,000 trips around the world to equal a billion miles.  A billion is a lot of people.  And 7 billion is a whole lot.  (Here is an interesting exercise: go to www.7billionworld.com.  There you will find a stick figure for every one of us and it takes a while to look at every one of us.)

Humor me and read these “humanity by the numbers” facts below*:

• There are 198 countries in the world today.
• There are seven billion people alive on the planet today.
• When Jesus was born there were about 300 million people alive on the planet.
• Today one-third of the world’s population is still considered unreached.
• 80% of the 7 billion cannot read or cannot read for comprehension or will not read.
• Every second 2 people die.
• Every second 4 people are born.
• Every day 20,000 to 30,000 people trust Christ as their Savior in China alone.
• There are 61 documented salvation movements among Muslim peoples at this time.
• The most populous continent in the world is Asia with 4,260,000,000 people.
• The least populous continent in the world is Antarctica with no indigenous inhabitants.
• The largest urban area in the world is Tokyo-Yokohama, Japan with 37,126,000.
• The “youngest” country in the world is Afghanistan with 43% under age 15.
• The shortest life expectancy in the world is Afghanistan at 49.7 years of age.
• Christians, of all stripes, make up 2,298,093,000 people.
• Muslims, of all stripes, make up 1,560,391,000 people.
• Hindus, of all stripes, make up 959,941,000 people.
• Chinese folk religionists make up 468,451,000 people.
• Buddhists, of all stripes, make up 467,546,000 people.
• Sikhs make up 24,285,000 people.
• Jews make up 14,875,000 people.
• 94% of the world’s languages by number are spoken by 6% of the world’s population.
• There are between 11,264 and 16,801 people groups world-wide—depending on how you count.  (People groups are “distinct groups that can be delineated from all the other peoples of the world by their ethnicity, locality, culture, religion, and/or language.”)
• There are between 6,578 and 7,287 Unreached People Groups (UPG’s) in the world today—depending on how you count.  (Less than 2% Christian and without sufficient witness inside the group to reach the entire group.)
• There are about 2,934 Unengaged Unreached People Groups (UUPG’s) in the world today.  (No Christian group is even yet working to share the Good News with these particular people groups.)
• Of the 7 billion people alive today 2 billion have no access to the Gospel.

*Some of this information came from:  www.wholesomewords.org/missions/greatc.html. And www.joshuaproject.org. And http://public.imb.org/globalresearch/Pages/default.aspx.

The planet is big and the population is staggering.  (“Thank you Dave for pointing out this fact.  I bet no one ever knew this until you broke that news just now.”)  We humans have pretty well spread out on it and have obeyed the command to populate it.

In a small Moroccan valley that ends at the Mediterranean Sea there is a community of 4,000 Muslim people.  In that community there is a family of 4 people who have embraced Jesus.  They are the only four followers of Jesus as far as anyone knows.  They are ostracized.  They worship together in their home.  The father can read and he has a Bible and he reads the Gospels and Acts—the rest does not make any sense to him.  I worshiped in their home and was profoundly reminded by God that each one of the 7 billion matters intensely to our Father. 

Jesus died for the 200 people in He Dog and for the 37,126,000 in Tokyo-Yokohama and for the 7 billion.  They all have names and faces and eternal souls.  The all need the Good News.  As Carl FH Henry said, “The Gospel is only good news if it gets there in time.” 

A Victory from South of the Border

Several years ago I was looking at books in the architecture section of Barnes and Noble.   I came across a beautiful book that documented the work of a university architecture department that was building public structures in the poorest county in America.   The book explained that every architecture student went and lived in this poor county during their fourth year of study and completed a building project—a chapel or a ball field or a home or a set of apartments or a church.   The student was responsible for finding the ground, engaging the community, deciding on the building, drawing the building, finding the funds, and getting it built.

The book was full of glossy color photos of projects the students had created with the help of these communities.   The buildings were unique, creative, attractive, and functional.

I was very impressed.   I bought the book and read it cover to cover.   I looked at the pictures over and over again.   The book hooked in to my heart for people in poverty.   It hooked into my love of building buildings.   It hooked into my enjoyment of photography.

A year or two after reading this book I had a conference about 60 miles from where the students had created all these structures—and where the current students were also creating new buildings.   So I went a day early, rented a car, and drove down to see what I had so loved in the book.   I got an informal tour of the huge warehouse where the current students were drawing buildings and making models.   I got a map of where the existing structures could be found—scattered over miles and miles of this impoverished county.

Armed with my map, my camera, and good feelings about the work I drove out to see these wonderful structures.

What I experienced was a major let down.   At least 75% of the structures were in horrible repair.   They were not being used to speak of and the windows were broken and weeds were growing up through the floor.   A beautiful chapel that spread across the pages of my book had been built using car windshields to create a towering cathedral ceiling.   In the picture it was both unique and beautiful.   On the ground it was a mess.   The grounds were overgrown with weeds and uncut grass—outside the building and inside too.   Inside the floor was dotted with campfire rings, strewn with cigarette butts, whiskey bottles and beer cans, and covered with the soot of camp fires.   What had been a very amazing structure was now in horrible disrepair.

I told you about that experience to say this:   Last week Kathi and I and 20 other CBCer’s went to Mexico to build house number 18 for an impoverished family in Acuna, Mexico.   We had a great build and gave a very attractive and functional house to a grateful family of five.   Then we all drove to see a home that Kathi and I and Nelson Allen had helped to build exactly two years earlier.   When we arrived at the house we hardly recognized it.   We hardly recognized it not because it was in disrepair but because it had been so significantly enhanced.   The owners had built a huge retaining wall to build up the area.   They had built a patio.   They had planted trees around their home.   They had installed a window air conditioner in one window. They had patio furniture out front.   It just looked great.

The family was home.   They recognized Kathi and Nelson and me.   We had a wonderful time of hugging and talking and then praying together before we left.   It was a gift from God to see how the family was thriving and how the home we had created was thriving.

Sometimes your investments for others end up in ruin.   Sometimes your investments for others end up in decades of fruit.   Where your investments end up—ruined or thriving—is generally not in your hands.   Your work is investing.   The investing is in your hands.

When it Feels Like God has Forgotten You

“Why do You keep on forgetting us?  Why do you forsake us so long?”

Lamentations 5:20

Last year I went on a trip—I have forgotten where—and on the way home I came to the gate for my flight home on a Saturday night.  I was informed that we were given a much smaller plane than expected and the flight was significantly overbooked.  The gate agents needed about 16 people to get off voluntarily.

I went up to the counter and explained that I needed to get home tonight so that I could speak in the morning.  The agent looked at my ticket and said, “I will have a seat for you Mr. Gibson but I need to take care of some other things first.  I will call you up when I know which seat you will have.”  I was great with that and I went back away from the congestion and waited for my name to be called.

I waited quite patiently for a long time.  There were calls for people to get off and negotiating about when they could get home if they got off and would a big group get off together and on and on and on.  The wait continued for more than an hour.  People were getting off and leaving.  People were getting tickets and boarding.  There were very few people left in the gate area.  I got anxious.  I got to thinking they had forgotten me.

So I walked back up to the counter and said to the agent, “I just want to make sure that you are still remembering me.”  “Yes Mr. Gibson,” he said, “I have your paper right here and we will have a seat for you as soon as we can.”  “Thank you,” I said and I walked back to my places.

When I knew I was being remembered I was very content and had no anxiety.  He had my paper right next to his keyboard and he remembered my name and I was assured that he remembered me.  I stood there another half an hour and was the last one on the plane.

I was able to be very calm and patient just knowing that the gate agent remembered me and assured me that I would have a seat on the plane.

When I believe that God is remembering me and has made promises to me I can also be very calm and patient.

If I am afraid that God has forgotten me then I am anxious and impatient.  My circumstances become bigger than life and even bigger than God.  My focus is on the trouble and on the fear that God will not be coming to help me.

The truth is that God always remembers us.  In the midst of our most difficult and protracted troubles God remembers us.  Our paper is right beside His keyboard.  He remembers us by name.  He has made promises to us.  He has the power to fulfill His promises.  He has the character to follow through on His promises.  So, be calm and be patient.  God remembers you.

“Zion said, “The Lord has abandoned me, the sovereign master has forgotten me.  Can a woman forget her baby who nurses at her breast?  Can she withhold compassion from the child she has borne?  Even if mothers were to forget, I could never forget you!”

Isaiah 49:14, 15

Gibson Family Update–The Two-Year Version

Just after Christmas our entire family was together for 11 days in England–thanks to our kind Father!  I have no idea how many rows are in this picture as we are not capable of lining up in rows.  So we acosted a passing Brit and they made a “snap” of us.  Anyhow, going left to right–as a given head appears in the photo:  Grant, Hannah, Angela, Rachel, Kathi, Ross, Dave, Caleb, Elizabeth, Amy, and Josh.  Between our three children they have set a goal of giving us at least 12 grandchildren.  (Wait maybe that was my goal for them–I forget.)

This photo was taken at Stourhead Mansion where part of the movie Pride and Prejudice was filmed.  In the far background you can see a pavillion where a guy and a girl were talking to each other in a heavy rain storm and then they almost kissed each other and then they had a shouting match and promised that they would not marry the other person if they were the last living human being on the planet and then the girl ran away accross the bridge in the background–still raining heavily–and then apparently they changed their minds because at the end of the movie they got married.  (I cannot explain this plot but felt it important to explain the setting to you.  Rent the movie, get a big box of Keenex and a gross of Cracker Jacks and concentrate.)

So, I have not been lounging on the couch and reading Jane Austin novels and eating Cracker Jacks but I did not get an update letter out last year.  Forgive me.  I wrote it but didn’t send it.  Why?  I cannot remember.  Having received your forgiveness I will now do my best to give you the two-year summary in pithy, readable, and cogent form.  (Should I fail at my stated goal, I am confident that Mrs. Gibson can always fix it up before we publish it on the world wide interweb.)

Major highs and lows:

• Grant David Gibson married Angela Joy Napier on May 29, 2010 in Boise, Idaho.  It was a one-week party.  They both love God and they love each other and we are so blessed to have Angela in our family.  Grant married so far “up” that it is a little embarassing.
• May thru July of 2010 Kathi and I were blessed with a 3 month sabbatical–in the generosity of God, Cypress Bible Church, and the Lilly Endowment for Religion.  It was so renewing.  We spent a week at the wedding, two weeks in Alaska, a month in Montana, and a month in England, Scotland, Ireland, France, and Belguim.  It was the fastest three months of my life.  When other men escape the fantasy playgrounds of their minds they think about women, beer, and golf.  I think about sabbatical.
• In January thru March of 2011 we were able to remodel our home–we had a falling out with a wall; so we took out that wall and put pergo flooring in most of the house–it’s a big blessing to us.  Kathi’s allergies have been much better with the Bronze Age carpet removed.
• Elizabeth Arwen Nelson was born to Josh and Amy on January 15, 2011–joining Caleb (11), Hannah (9), and Elizabeth (5).  She is beautiful–they all are.  Elizabeth is now one and can walk and wave bye-bye.  Back when she was only 2 weeks old I was talking to her on Skype and she said, “I love you Grandpa.”  (No, there were no witnesses but I heard it.)
• On June 8, 2011 Kathi and I began our 38th year of marriage!  This is one tennacious woman–unwilling to give up despite a mistake that she made when she was only 19!  (It’s hell having 19 year-olds making life decisions for you!)
• In July of 2011 Kathi and I traveled with some friends for two weeks of work in the Far East.  It was a spiritual high.  Cannot say much more here.  We also saw the Tiger Leaping Gorge.  It is not a piece of water that you would float in anything smaller than a trident sub.
• The major sadness in our lives is the home-going of Kathi’s mother, Joyce Kruckeberg.  Joyce went to live with God on Christmas afternoon at 4:56 PM–one month ago today.  Her memorial service/graveside was held on January 9th at the military cemetary in Dallas.  Kathi’s dad Bob could use your prayers after 58 years of marriage.  The man is a prince and the Lord is sustaining him.
• My father, Hoot Gibson, is thriving in Western Montana where he retired 30 years ago.  Since the death of my mother in 2008 my younger sister has lived with him.  He has lost most of his eyesight to macular degeneration and cannot drive but still does shoot his beloved guns.  A piece of advice:  Do not go to the gun range on Wednesday mornings–Dad and his other mostly blind buddies are there every Wednesday morning.  I love the man and have long phone conversations with him.
• As the picture above shows we were together as a whole family at Christmas time for the first time since 1997!
• I have been promising for 20 years to write a book, and it is written and being edited now.  The tentative title is Wheatie and it deals with the summer I spent as a wheat harvester when I was 16.  If no publisher buys it I will self publish it so I can hold it in my hand and so you can each buy hundreds of copies.
• On December 1, 2011 Kathi and I began our tenth year of pastoral ministry at Cypress Bible Church.  This is God’s great goodness to us.  I love having a place to do what I love.
• Josh leaves at the end of January 2012 for his fourth deployment to a dangerous place–your’s prayers are appreciated.  He is still flying helicopters.
• Josh and Amy and four kidlins are due to be transfered back to this continent this summer!
• Ross is working for Time Warner Cable Company in Moscow, Idaho and is acting in his second play in the past 5 months.  He is a terrific actor, a very good singer, and a sincere dancer.  We flew to Moscow, Idaho last November to see his acting debut–what a kick that was!  He did his old pappy proud!
• Ross began a blog at the address:  www.30isthenewboring.blogspot.com.  Funnier than David Letterman.
• Grant and Angela are living in Boise.  Grant works for the Idaho Department of Employment and Angela is a professional ballerina with Ballet Idaho.  They are doing terrific.
• I am still doing some woodworking–currently making a candle holder out of a 45 pound log–perhaps a little above the load-bearing specs but I like solid furniture.  Mrs. Gibson may not let it be in the house.
• In December of 2011 Kathi bought a “long-arm quilting machine” and named it “Lucey.”  (Technically the APQS quilting machine company named her Lucey but we didn’t have the heart to change her name.)  Kathi and Lucey are happily making quilts.  Picture below.
•  I am still supplying brilliant material to this site (www.runningtothetape.wordpress.com) and to my sermon site (www.corkingoodsermons.com) and to my story site (www.corkingoodstories.com) and on Twitter (@hhhoot) and on Facebook.
• God has blessed greatly in so many ways–for just one example we have no pets.

 Thanks to each one of you who sent a card or update letter to us at Christmas this year.  For those of you who did not–I understand, believe me, I understand!

If any of you would be willing to follow me on Twitter or be my friend on Facebook or listen to one of the 400 free sermons on my site I will mail to you a chocolate covered lawn sprinkler as a thank you gift.

All joking aside now–I just read a very short book called Be a Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  (Well worth the read.)  I won’t give away the story about “Honi the Circle Maker” but I will say that Batterson has written a very motivational book about specific and bold prayer.  “Bold prayers honor God and God honors bold prayers.”

In this year I am praying a bold, simple prayer “to be fully alive.”  A writer by the name of Howard Thurman said, “Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

This is a very compelling idea to me and this is my bold prayer for 2012.

And yours is…?

God bless you each richly!  Contact us–it would be great to hear from you.

Dave and Kathi

Santa Claus is Coming to Town–Interpreted

 

Listen to the message of Santa’s own song please:

You better watch out–Santa’s coming is a scary and dangerous event–better hide.

You better not cry–Santa’s arrival makes you want to cry.

Better not pout–being around Santa makes you want to pout.

I’m telling you why–I am the watchman warning you about this dangerous guy.

Santa Claus is coming to town–the first warning of his arrival.

He’s making a list–Santa keeps religious track of your behavior.

And checking it twice–Santa is obsessive-compulsive.

Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice–Santa is a performance based giver.

Santa Claus is coming to town–the second warning of his arrival.

He sees you when you’re sleeping–Santa is a peeping Tom.

He knows when you’re awake–Santa is watching you like a hawk.

He knows if you’ve been good or bad–the guy is devoid of grace.

So be good for goodness sake–the only way to be blessed by Santa is to be good.

O! Your better watch out!–another dire warning that Santa is trouble.

You better not cry–do not show emotions around Santa because it might set him off.

Better not pout–an additional warning that unacceptable behavior will be punished.

I’m telling you why–once again, you better listen to me because this is serious.

Santa Claus is coming to town–the third warning of his arrival.

Santa Claus is coming to town–the fourth and final warning of his arrival.

You had better leave the guy some milk and cookies in hopes of appeasing him!

Santa’s popularity is a mystery to me.

You have this dire warning song.  The breaking and entry.  The ruined shingles.  The violation of sovereign airspace.

Self-Management Skills

I read a terrific quote, which I can only remember well enough to paraphrase here and I have forgotten the author to boot:  “Successful people have the ability to continually make themselves do what they do not want to do.”

Or, to paraphrase the paraphrase, they have the ability to manage themselves.

How are you doing in the management of yourself?

Richard Bolles, in his book The Three Boxes of Life, lists 47 skills of the person who is excellent at self-management.  The list will cause both motivation and depression.  I am listing them for you here in the hopes of giving you motivation.  If the result is depression I am sorry and ask you to see skills 16, 29, and 31.

There might be some help to score yourself on a 1 to 5 scale on each of these and consider where some intentional work might be needed in some area of self-management.

1. Ability to choose, or make a decision
2. Alertness
3. Assertiveness
4. Astuteness
5. Attention to details, awareness, thoroughness, conscientiousness
6. Authenticity
7. Calmness
8. Candidness
9. Commitment to grow
10. Concentration
11. Cooperation
12. Courage, risk-taking, adventuresomeness
13. Curiosity
14. Diplomacy
15. Easy-goingness
16. Emotaional stability
17. Empathy
18. Enthusiasm
19. Expressiveness
20. Firmness
21. Flexibility
22. Generosity
23. Good judgment
24. High energy level, dynamicness
25. Honesty, integrity
26. Initiative, drive
27. Loyalty
28. Open-mindedness
29. Optimism
30. Orderliness
31. Patience, persistence
32. Performing well under stress
33. Playfulness
34. Poise, self-condidence
35. Politeness
36. Punctualness
37. Reliability, dependability
38. Resourcefulness
39. Self-control
40. Self-respect
41. Sense of humor
42. Sincerity
43. Spontaneity
44. Tactfulness
45. Tidiness
46. Tolerance
47. Versatility

The Art of Self Management

 

“I have never had as much trouble with any man as I have with myself.”

D. L. Moody

“Amen!” to that!  I have given myself far more trouble than I have been given by anyone else.   The chief trouble I have given to myself is the inability to make myself do what I should do.  Self management or self-control has been a life-long fight for me.

Zig Ziglar once said, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want now.”

“Amen!” to that!  I have made this trade far too often.

What I want most is to honor God and love my wife well and serve faithfully at CBC and share Christ with the people God puts in my path and be physically fit and give help to my friends and be generous and build time margin in my life and build financial margin into my life and keep my house and cars in good condition and build emotional margin in my life and love my kids, grandkids, and parents well and on and on and on…  Trouble is there are too many times when I trade all this for a game or games of hearts on the computer.

I think there is a time to “veg out” with a game of computer hearts.  But I don’t think that is all the time or even most of the time or even very much of the time.  There is a time more often to manage myself and make myself do what I should do and what I want to do in order to have the things I want most—please see the list above.

In the Wisdom Literature of the Bible God gives some instruction on the issue of self-management—here is a small sample of His large volume of instruction:

• Proverbs 12:24, 27.  “The hand of the diligent will rule, but the
  slack hand will be put to forced labor.   A lazy man does not roast his pray, but the precious possession of a man is diligence.”

• Proverbs 16:32.  “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.”

• Proverbs 6:6-1.  Paraphrase:  “Look at the ant and learn something about diligence and self control.”

• Proverbs 24:30-34.  Paraphrase: “Look at the field and vineyard of a sluggard and learn something about diligence and self control.”

“The precious possession of a man is diligence.”

Wow!  The precious possession of a man is not a Rolex or a Lexus or a pallet of gold bullion.  The precious possession of a man is diligence.  I will take a pallet of that!

In his book The Three Boxes of Life author Richard N. Bolles gives a serious list of self-management skills.  I am listing them here for your reading pleasure.  I hope this is some help to you in the fight with self-management:

• Ability to choose, or make a decision.
• Alertness.
• Assertiveness.
• Astuteness.
• Attention to details, awareness, thoroughness, conscientiousness.
• Authenticity.
• Calmness.
• Candidness.
• Commitment to grow.
• Concentration.
• Cooperation.
• Courage, risk-taking, adventuresome-ness.
• Curiosity.
• Diplomacy.
• Easy-goingness.
• Emotional stability.
• Empathy.
• Enthusiasm.
• Expressiveness.
• Firmness.
• Flexibility.
• Generosity.
• Good judgment.
• High energy level, dynamic-ness.
• Honesty, integrity.
• Initiative, drive.
• Loyalty.
• Open-mindedness.
• Optimism.
• Orderliness.
• Patience, persistence.
• Performing well under stress.
• Playfulness.
• Poise, self-confidence.
• Politeness.
• Punctual-ness.
• Reliability, dependability.
• Resourcefulness.
• Self-control.
• Self-reliance.
• Self-respect.
• Sense of humor.
• Sincerity.
• Spontaneity.
• Tactfulness.
• Tidiness.
• Tolerance.
• Versatility.

To me this is such a helpful list.  “The precious possession of a man is diligence.”

I don’t know the whole answer about gaining diligence and self-control but it seems to me that part of the answer is constantly reminding myself about the things that I want most.

Lessons from “The East”

 

In the kindness of God, Kathi and I are back from two weeks of working in The East with some friends.  The work was primarily visiting some places where our friends had done development work–funding drinking water systems for schools and providing scholarships for tribal children to attend grade school.  It was my first time to the great land of China–specifically far SW China on the Tibetan Plateau–and it was not much like my home town of He Dog, South Dakota–though both places are primarily populated by native tribes.  (We were not in the political province of Tibet but we were at about 11,000 feet.)

In two weeks were exposed to so many starkly new things that I cannot even remember all of them.  Here are a few lessons that I do remember:

1. There are uncountable people in our world who live in horrible bondage.  People are spinning prayer wheels and using strings of prayer beads and leaving good food at the feet of inanimate statues and building elaborate temples and spending scarce money on incense and constantly driving roaming pigs away from the good food they have left at the feet of statues that cannot eat.  All of this is done to appease dead “gods” and assuage a sense of deep personal guilt.  It goes on for decade after decade in very sad lives.

2. Reaching people who have a worldview that is non-Christian and who cannot read is a bitterly slow process.  Worldviews shape each one of us so profoundly that we cannot even comprehend the impact.  Not being able to read is a handicap that I cannot understand.  I have been able to read the language of the country where I live for more than 50 years.  I take reading for granted.  I assume reading with the same level of unconscious expectation that I assume air.  I have lost touch with the blessing of reading.

3. It takes a lot of people working well together to reach people who never heart of Jesus and who cannot read.  The synergy of a body working in harmony is so beautiful.  Watching a professional high jumper gives a sense of this beauty.  The synergy of a Body working together is so pivotal to impact.  The work we were able to do was only possible because of the previous work of a lot of people.

4. If you can read and own a personal copy of the Bible in your first language you are blessed beyond imagination.  Every day I am reading and appreciating my “first language Bible” with new gratitude.

5. God is at work in so many places and in so many lives and in so many unique ways.  I was in awe of things that He is doing in a “corner” of the world without TV or internet.  (Our world has a lot of “corners” and every one of us live in a “corner” in one way or another.  The center of the universe is not on this planet.)  What God is up to, in endlessly creative ways, in every “corner” of the world always involves His glory, His Word, and the rescue/renewal of people.

6. God is at work in so many places and in so many lives and in so many unique ways–we miss then when we are too worried about when our golf clubs will be repaired.   I have nothing against golf–other than I stink at it–but what God is doing to rescue people towers above a hole-in-one.

7. Sitting in the home of a tribal person and explaining the Good News about Jesus is exhilarating.  It is also recalibrating.  It refocuses you on eternal things.

8. The standard of living in NW Houston and the cult of upward mobility are very strong.  I have only been home for 5 days and I already went out to look at a new BBQ.

9. Working and traveling and living with sterling people makes all the difference.  What a joy it was to spend 2 weeks with 7 sterling people.

10. Finishing your life in a second career in missions is really, really good.  I think it is more fulfilling than shopping or five-day-a-week golf.

11. They are very, very stingy with their oxygen on the Tibetan Plateau.

12. Traveling in remote places to share Christ is inconvenient and uncomfortable.  But my experience was nothing like Paul and many others have done.

13. I have a deep and severe cleanliness addiction.  I need some help with this.

14. I have a significant aversion to sheep that has been chopped up with a cleaver and thrown into a huge pot and boiled with the stomach and the bones and the gristle and the sinew and the bone chips and the fat.  In my own defense I tried to eat some.

15. Sleep is a very valuable commodity.  When you cannot get any you begin to understand its value.

16. Clean water and beds without bugs are a great gift.  I had forgotten this.

17.  The International Date Line is voodoo magic.  I still don’t get it.

18. A yak is not as exotic as it sounds from 6,000 miles away.  A yak is a Tibetan cow.

19. Living in a place where you can own a Bible openly is wonderful.  Many people don’t.

20. People all over the world have a keen sense of sin and guilt and the need to do something about these.  They are doing a variety of things with varied levels of diligence and nothing apart from Jesus is working.

21. An American can buy a yak leather briefcase for about $100 but if a local will bargain for you then you can get it for about $35. 

22. Speaking the same language with a person is so critical to telling them about Jesus and to finding the bus station.  I just spend 2 weeks with about a 5 word vocabulary and they were probably not the five most important words.

“He forgot to ask us to…

Soon after email was invented a friend sent this story to me:

Abraham Lincoln often slipped out of the White House on Wednesday evenings to listen to the sermons of Dr. Phineas Gurley at a local Presbyterian Church.  Lincoln generally preferred to come and go unnoticed, so when Dr. Gurley knew the president was coming, he left his study door open.  On one of those occasions, the president quietly entered through a side door of the church, took his seat in the minister’s study, located just off the sanctuary, and propped the door open just wide enough to hear the preacher.

During the walk home one Wednesday evening, an aide asked Mr. Lincoln his appraisal of the sermon.  The president thoughtfully replied, “The content was excellent…he delivered with eloquence…he had put work into the message…”

“Then you thought it was an excellent sermon?” questioned the aide.

“No,” Lincoln answered.

“But you said that the content was excellent, it was delivered with eloquence and it showed much work,” the aide pressed.

“That’s true,” Lincoln said.  “But Dr. Gurley forgot the most important ingredient.  He forgot to ask us to do something great.”

“He forgot to ask us to do something great.”

So much of our lives are built on the average and the every day and the need for daily faithfulness in the routine–even in the small and the mundane–and this is very good.  It is essential.  But it is also true that every life should strive for a contribution to some great cause, to do something noble, to invest deeply in something bigger than self-preservation and self-pampering.

A completely self-absorbed life is the smallest life in the world.  A deeply self-giving life is the largest life in the world–not usually the largest in terms of recognition but certainly the largest in terms of fulfillment and meaning and noble accomplishment.

“Af anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all.”  Jesus in Mark 9:35

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”  Jesus in Matthew 16:25

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”  Jesus in Mark 10:45

Jesus, unlike Dr. Phineas Gurley on the particular Wednesday evening, calls us to something great.  He calls us to sell out our lives for the Person of God and the reputation of God and the work of God and the good of others.  He calls us to noble living and Bible causes.  He calls us to deep dedication to the Kingdom.

Life is so much more exciting when we follow Jesus’ call to “do something great.”

Let me ask you to do something great in the next ten days.  Here it is:  “Ask God to show you a noble cause that is far greater than self-pampering.  Ask Him to plant in your heart something great that is far above even self-preservation–more important than saving you life.  Ask God for the gift of a great dream and for the joy that goes with it.”

When He shows you, go after it!  That would be great!